There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
