i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
