At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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