Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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