I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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