on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Randomize
