pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
