You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
