Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
