i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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