ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
