No, you can still breathe under the balls.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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