He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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