haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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