No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it hurts more in the daytime
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
