pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
