I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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