I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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