I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
im holly from the hills drunk
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
