She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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