i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
