Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
