is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
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I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
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Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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