Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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