So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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