i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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