Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
