He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
