JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
