I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
