I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize