let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
