He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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