We're facebook friends in real life
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize