Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
