Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
