i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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