all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
