YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
