I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
