just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
