I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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