Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
