when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
