got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
