so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
