i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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