Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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