Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize