she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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