They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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