the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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