plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
