Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
