i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
