hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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