So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
