You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am one with the molecules
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
