I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
