In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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