i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
