Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
