I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
