But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
