The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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