no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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