Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
