escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize